Friendship.

Its been ages since my previous post. Ages. Eons.





My results are tremendously falling.

Being in form 4 is difficult for me to cope in. I've always been the type of student who depends more on General knowledge without the assistance of scientific theory.

To cut a long story short, its just deteriorating at a speedy state.

I've been busy with ton of things and yes, I've been making extra time for that special someone.

Our relationship is seriously incomprehensible unless you are me.

Its not that I don't trust you not telling you about how our relationship runs, its just that I want my privacy to be respected.

Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends.

Everyone has them. Friends in general , are those who keep you company and people who you share moments with. Friends could be merely be counted as acquaintances. Small talk, nothing much, not big. Just a hey or a hi, no conversation started.
There are best friends. People who you tell everything. Everything. When I mean everything, I mean everything. Your weird quirks, your daily routine, little facts about you.

They know a hell lot. Everything.

There are fake friends who would just befriend you for popularity of your liquid assets.

There are real friends who would stay up at night with you, just to talk to you at 1am in the morning or 3am just to find out whether you're okay or not.

There's your girlfriend or boyfriend who shows affection to you and he or she could be categorized under real friends, fake friends, best friends etc.

You can gain friends through time, trust through time, new friends through time.
However you can lose friends through time, their trust through time and also, inevitably lose friends through time.

Friends fall apart when someone stops trying.

One of the reasons why you stop trying is because of incompatibility.
Perhaps we were best friends when we were 4. At 16, I could be a drunkard and you could be this little angel and we're two totally different things.
People are friends with you for certain qualities. If I became a totally different person, I highly doubt they would be standing right next to me being totally supportive about things they think that are wrong. If we can't get a mutual agreement; When it gets to hard,we eventually leave and start anew.

Number two. Broken trust.
This one bloody hurts the most. That person might have abused you or have taken you for granted. Trust is slowly built up and it can fall apart in any second due to a mistake regardless of magnitude. This will forever haunt you and it will probably heal, or NEVER heal at all. That scar will remain forever. Its just your choice to forget about it, move on or rebuild it back together again.

One of the reasons is because time pulled us apart.
We don't spend enough time with each other anymore due to reasons like schoolwork, occupation with something else or other personal problems.

Another factor that plays a role in this is distance.
Even though with technology. How much time do we actually truly spend bonding over the internet? Does internet bonding really work? How effective is it? Is it highly affective?
From my perspective it is difficult. But not impossible. Yet the effort put into this has to go a further distance.
The lack of physical activity together like sports or hobbies.
It can actually pull you apart.

This is a famous one. Misunderstanding.
We let a stupid misunderstanding tear our friendship apart. I don't have to explain this, everyone should know what I mean.


Finally, the final factor that plays is neglect.
Remember me? We used to talk everyday and talk in school, on MSN, skype, wherever. We used to talk about the world. We used to talk about everything.
Then when I got occupied in something else, maybe I was neglecting you.
You didn't understand my condition and perhaps I didn't understand yours.
You just stopped trying after I just gave a hi and bye daily.


Even though we're probably won't be close anymore or as before.
I'm thankful to those of my friends who have been there for me through thick and thin.
Thank for sharing all those memorable times with me. Thanks for letting me tell you my problems and keeping my secrets. Thank you for asking about my well-being , for truly caring about me. Thank you for teaching me things when I was wrong. Or when I was in dire need of help.

Although we're not good friends anymore.
I appreciate everything you all have given to me, throughout everything.

My intentions to spend time with my friends during the holidays probably would be crushed. But it doesn't mean I'll stop trying.

I thank Fernan for being understanding towards how I feel about proper time management with my friends and him after all the drama and this friendship fiasco.
Time to start rebuilding back what I've lost.
It might not be effective. I might not have everything back.

But its better to try than be in denial everyday.

Btw, that's a cat.